Mommy Mason Extravaganza

Dear Mason,

We had the best day. I mean, the BEST day. The kind of day that makes your soul soar...makes you so full of gratitude that you feel like you're going to explode at any moment.

We slept in the living room last night because the upstairs air conditioning unit was out. Sure it was inconvenient, but eh, who cares? We turned it into your first camp out (thank goodness for the pack and play!!).

This morning, after the air was fixed, we had lunch in Market Square and we dipped your toes in the fountains. We people-watched. We looked at trees. We shopped.

We went to the Farmer's Market and bought fresh peaches, green beans, and some weird looking squash that will become pureed baby food for you. You fussed a whole lot, but you're cute, so no one cared. Then you fell asleep next to the tomatoes.

We grocery shopped after the Farmer's Market. You cried quite a bit, so I sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," the "Alphabet Song," and the Fleetwood Mac gem, "Landslide." Nice combo- I know. You ate sweet potatoes tonight and pretty much loved them!!

Currently, you're in your crib sleeping on your side- a new skill you've picked up and perfected in the past few days. I've just finished trying to clip your nails while you sleep (I read to do that in a book) and am getting settled down for the night. The house is quiet. Bella is snoring. And as I think back on today, I want you to know in your heart of hearts how perfect this day was, how much joy you bring me, and how much I love you and will always, always love you. I'm not sure what I did to deserve this life, these friends, this family, this husband, and most especially you. I hit the kiddo jackpot. You are vivacious and so full of life. I look at you every. single. day. and wonder what you think about. How you perceive things. What you're comprehending. I am completely enamored and amazed by you.

Thank you, Mason, for teaching me what this kind of love feels like. What this kind of gratitude feels like. What it feels like to have your soul fly so high. I love you forever and ever, kid.

Love,
Mom

P.S. Clipping your nails while you sleep is a bitch.

Time Flies

Dear Mason,

Time is flying by. Today when I laid you in your crib you spit your pacifier out and then reached over and grabbed it and tried to put it in your mouth. Whoa. Where is my preemie baby boy that I just brought home from the NICU?

I am so proud and excited about everything you are accomplishing. You have already overcome so many hurdles in your life and you're not even 4 months old yet! From preterm labor (which put me on bed rest with a whole lot of Judge Judy reruns...thanks for that), to a preemie birth, a pneumothorax that landed you 8 days in NICU (the hardest 8 days of my entire life), to a hernia that you will have operated on next month, you've had your fair share of crap to deal with.

You've already had so many rough experiences, so I just want to tell you that life is sweet, and beautiful, and amazing and you are so TOTALLY and UNCONDITIONALLY loved. You were prayed for, wished for, hoped for and loved even before we knew you. My hope is that you feel that love every single day of your entire life. And I hope that as you grow up, that you don't become jaded by the wold. That you're always able to keep the perspective that no matter what awful things may happen- the world is a good place, life is sweet, people are inherently good, and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know this for sure.

I love you, Mason.

Love, 

Mom

Dear Mason, Thank you for your Patience.

Dear Mason,

I'm lying in bed watching you in the video monitor and thinking back on today, and I realize I need to say thank you. Thank you for your patience with me, Mason. This Mommy thing is hard. I know, I know, being a baby is tough too- you can't really communicate other than smiles and cries, so no one but you knows when you've pooped your pants (unless it's a smelly one)- you just have to wait for someone to check, you depend on somebody to figure out the secret cry code and determine that yes, you actually would like that bottle now, thank you very much. Yes, yes, it's exhausting to be a baby. I get it.

I knew being a Mommy would be tough. I knew I would lose sleep. I knew I would probably not keep as close of contact with my dear friends. I knew there would be less time for date nights with Daddy. I knew there would be more laundry, more dishes (bottles), more everything (except time). I knew. But I didn't really know.

Other parents told me I would be tired, but nothing prepared me for the tiredness I feel at 3 am when you cry and I look at the monitor and realize not only have you flipped yourself in the crib and your feet are now where your head was when I laid you down (genetic trait, by the way- I do it too), but you're screaming and hungry and you wanted that bottle, like, 5 minutes ago. Nothing anyone said prepared me to figure out how to maintain some semblance of the life I used to have, coupled with having a baby (if anyone has this answer, please fill me in). And I don't mean going to bars on a Friday night, I mean finding time to eat dinner at all amongst everything that needs to be done- bottles washed, bath time, play time, story time, tummy time, diaper bag packed for the next day, base in the car, burp cloths on the ready, "How long has that formula been made?," "Oh gosh, we're out of formula," "When do we start solids?," "When do we start sign language?," "When are the pSATs, again??"

I heard about all this. But I didn't really know.

So what does it matter anyway?

Well, I want to give you the best life possible. I go to work every day to make that happen for you. To give you what I had growing up, and things that I didn't. I don't have all the answers though. I'm learning as I go. And I'm definitely still working on this work/life/mom/wife groove.

So when we go to Walmart to exchange the batteries that I got that were the wrong size for the swing that you love (I love it too, it buys me another hour of sleep), and I forget to actually exchange them....thank you for your patience. Thank you in advance for your patience tomorrow when we go BACK to Walmart to really exchange them.

When I get oatmeal cereal accidentally instead of rice cereal (hey, it was organic, cut me some slack)....thank you for your patience. I'll just save it I guess. Maybe you can eat it at some point?

When I google "diaper rash" because I have no idea what one actually looks like (don't actually do that search, it's scary)...thank you again for your patience. Maybe I'll just call the doctor in the morning.

I promise I have this under control. It doesn't always seem like it, but I do. Like I said, I'm learning as I go. But so are you. We're learning together, and I do know one thing for sure...I love you, Mason.

Love,
Mom

B

Dear Mason, Rough Start, Sweet End!

Dear Mason,

We started our day together at about 4:30ish this morning. You were hungry and I was sleepy (seems we meet that way quite often and it always reminds me of a "you come here often?" joke). I brought you into my room and laid you down while I stumbled into the bathroom to make you a bottle. You screamed your head off. I tried to warn you about your face freezing like that, but you were too mad to hear me. Once you were fed and settled down, I put you in your swing. The one you love at daycare so much that your Dad and I bought one for you to have at home- now you have one upstairs and downstairs (Life must be really good when you're not more than a few feet away from your swing at any given time, right?). Well, awesome Mommy Moment #1 of the day happened right as I set you in the swing....I remembered that I bought the wrong batteries and the swing is dead. Great. I closed my eyes, wished on a star and all things holy, and put you in it anyway. To my complete astonishment, you decided to roll with it and looked up at me with your big eyes and smiled. I gave you your paci, crawled back in bed, and fell asleep to the sweet sound of you cooing to yourself. I must admit this is one of my favorite things that you're doing. I could listen to you "practice" your voice all day every day. You make noises and then smile because you are so proud of yourself.

Fast forward through a really rough morning and tough time getting out of the house-you cried ALL morning-  keep fast forwarding through a full day of daycare, hanging with our friends while I worked (your Daddy is out is town), being at my work for a bit, and screaming the entire way home and you finally get to the moment that I zip you in your swaddle, you relax, and I get to stare at you laying so sweetly and tiredly in your crib. These are the absolute best moments of my day. Your cheeks are so kissable and your lips do this really cute pouty thing. And you do your little baby yawn! Oh! It's too much sweetness to handle!

When people talk about "the little things in life," that moment is what they're talking about- You trusting me enough to feel safe enough to drift to sleep. Trusting that I'll be there at 4:30 am when you decide to wail for food. Well, you got it little man. I'll be there...whenever you need me...forever and always. I love you Mason.

Love,
Mom